2012 was the first year I hadn’t been at Churchill Downs on Derby Day in 6 years. I was ok with it though because I was in Key West (My other favorite place on Earth). But this year, 2013, I didn’t want to fall to same fate. I was sure I was going to be in Louisville for Derby Day… But then life happened and I couldn’t make it. But at least there was a good excuse for 2013. That excuse… the Louisville Cardinals won the 2013 National Championship in basketball and I spent all my money and vacation days to see that glory!

So since I didn’t have the money or vacation days to make it home this year for Derby Day what was I to do? Have a Derby Party at my house of course!

I convinced my girlfriend it was imperative that she wore a big hat to party and while she was originally against it she eventually conceded to my persuasive ways. Not only that, I was eventaully able to persuade her the necessity of her bringing a Derby pie. She wont admit that enjoyed it, but the dish was definitely the hit of the party and I hope she makes it again in the future.

In addition to the miraculous derby pie the kept our sugar-teeth pleased for the entire night, I took it upon myself to orchestrate a Hot-Brown dish for the party. The Hot-Brown is another Louisville recipe that must be experienced atleast once in a lifetime. While it is probably the least healthy dish you will ever consume, it is definitely on of the most delicious. Apparently the story has something to do with late night vagrant travelers requiring anything to eat. The chef of the famous hotel in Louisville, The Brown, took his kitchen’s left of ingrediatnts, scraped something together, and created a masterpiece known as the Hot-Brown.

I’m glad that others decided to dress up for Derby Day!

So long story short, I knew I had to make one for my derby party. I start cooking it before anyone shows up. While the bacon is frying, the grease splatters up and destroys my brand new, unworn, Brooks Brothers suit. But hey, its mint julep day right? I can make that unpleasant go away right?

We had two player tetris set up for the party! No big deal!

Now for all of you non-Kentuckians who don’t know how a derby party works, I will have to enlighten you. Everybody brings $5 for the bidding. You pay the “bookie” $5 bucks and you draw a number out of hat. The hat contains all the numbers of all of the horses in the Kentucky Derby. If that number horse wins the Derby, you win the pot of all the people’s $5. They say its the most exciting 2 minutes in sports. I have to agree with this. You can host an Indy 500 party. The reason is that people lose interest after 2 minutes. They stop caring. But I feel 2 minutes is just long enough to gather everybody’s attention around the tv and cheer for some arbitray number. It’s fantastic.

Nothing is more classy than beer bong and a bow tie!

Now let me tell you my sob story. At first, we didn’t think we had enough people at the party willing to throw up five dollars to take all of the horses in the field. So I bought two horses. As the clock drew nearer and neared to post time, more and more people at my party were wanting to get in the pot. The spots were filling up. Then they all filled up. But more people wanted in the pot. So as a nice host, I decide to sell one of my two horses. I don’t know if it was the mint juleps kicking in or what, but i decided it was a good idea to sell my number 16 horse. For some reason my brain told me I couldnt remember the last time that horse with such a high starting number won the Derby. Easy, sold that 16 horse.

Race happens. 16 Horse wins. FML. But hey, you can’t win the Derby pot at your own derby party. So I am glad I sold it.

After the race, the Mint Julep’s flowed freely. I lost count. Apparently I had 13. I call it a success!