Week-long entries are always the hardest to write. There is so much detail that needs to be encapsulated its worrisome that something might easily be forgotten. There are too many pictures that need explanation and too many memories that will probably be lost. With that said, I will begin this story as many of my stories begin. A headache from the night before…
So I’m sitting on the plane just wanting to get some rest and an attractive older lady sits next to me and says she is going to Louisville. Interesting as this is the first leg of my flight. So as a fellow Kentuckian, I act as a gentleman and entertain conversation. She begins to tell me that she is recently divorced so I start to emphasize with the woman. My friendliness eventually leads me down a path I don’t want to go down. The woman starts to become dissociative and even seriously considers me as a potential future roommate. Sleep is not found on the first flight nor the second due to the excessively large lady sitting next to me, the obnoxiously loud man snoring and the screaming baby. Typical
So the plane lands, I do my typical Kentucky routine: Ale8, Mingua Brothers Jerky, Franks Produce shop and then stop at Marty’s. Marty’s, my former roommate, house is the rendezvous point for the immediate Nashville trip. As soon as Chris arrives we head to Tennessee to do it right.
We meet up with some friends before we go out and get some food. The thing about Nashville is that in the few hours I was there, I had three offers to crash at someone’s house. In the state of Florida, which I have lived in for two years, I have only had one person offer me a place to crash. Now you tell me, is Florida The South?
So we go to this bar after dinner called Broadway Brewhouse. The special is the Bushwacker. Now if your like me, your immediate thought is of the best tag team wrestling duo of all time but instead you get a heavily alcoholic drink that tastes like a Frosty.
The Existential
At some point I decide I need more cash. So I head to the ATM. Withdraw $100. What does the ATM do? It recognizes my significant appearance and gives me $120 instead. #Winning.
My adventures in Nashville are already reaching a top notch high so I am not sure what could compete. I am content with the night but a karaoke bar on the outside of the main drag keeps getting brought up. What is this bar you ask? They call it Santa’s Pub. What’s so special about it?
It is a Christmas themed bar in a double wide trailer. I am going to be honest with you. This is 100% the best business model of all time. No overhead. What’s so special about the place. For one, the owner actually looks like Santa Claus. For two, if it’s your first time there, the first beer is free. Thirdly, I am not sure thridly is actually a word. Fourth, its a double wide trailer with 200+ people raging harder than any club you’ve ever been. Seriously.
Karaoke got out of hand.
The decor got out of hand.
And partying got out of hand.
The next morning we get brunch at The Stone Fox.
Ok so enough for Nashville. Lets get on to the second day of my nine day vacation. Back to wrestling. It just so happens that tonight is the 2013 Survivor Series Pay Per View. My buddy Jager is the one guy I can always count on to see every wrestling pay per view at a moment’s notice with me. So what do I do. I fucking drive to CinciNasty from Nastyville and watch the thing with him!
I look like a junkie in this picture. I hate it.
I crash at his parents place with him for the second time. The last time was also wrestling related. No big deal. Somehow I convinced Chris to go along with this epic road trip and he’s all in. The bad part about this, I have to drop him off in Louisville in the am the next day and I had previously made plans with his ex girlfriend that same day. I can’t help it that I am friends with both and it was like being in a custody battle between the two. Even worse, the plan with her and I was to go on a hiking trail in Cincinnati. So I have to drive an hour and a half one way, then another hour and half back in the same direction. FML. At least the second time I take the back roads.
So my hidden agenda that Lyndsey was unaware of was the fact that I was also working on my collection of State Road Signs. So we took a 15 minute pitstop at the Ohio state border to get a picture(see my other categories for the photo). The shitty part was that the Chrysler 200 had a curved hood and I couldn’t accurately sit my camera on it for a time photo. So I Macgyver the hell out of the situation. I found a broken mirror on the ground and set my camera up appropriately. It’s funny because I think of Ohio being one of the most depressing states in the union and the photo with the grey skies that I took accurately portrays that ideology.
Ok so the actual hiking trail. I knew this was something Lynds would for sure be into. Plus I am all about whatever adventure comes my way. The place was called Shawnee Lookout and it is located between the Miami River and the Ohio River. Better yet, the views the park offers allows you to look into Indiana and Ohio simultaneously. If only a man could live once, how could he pass up looking into the best two states simultaneously.
Ok so we do the hiking things. Paths diverge. When I jog daily I always veer right. Today I felt liberal so we went left. It’s all the same shit however you look at it. It is beautiful seeing the Ohio Valley Region in the winter time, but I was already starting to miss the 80+ degree weather of Florida.
We tried to take an awesome picture overlooking the rivers and the states but the timer messed up.
Afterwards, the adventure still feels fresh and the day is young? What should we do? So we head to CinciNasty. There’s a local beer place on the river next to the Reds stadium called the Moerlien. We get some awesome dinner and a brewski. Head back to Louisville. Drop Lynds off. Then drive for another hour to my moms house in Georgetown. By this point I am completely ready for bed.
Ok so its Tuesday, my mom’s a teacher so she still has to go to work on Thanksgiving week. I sleep for 14 hours but by afternoon I am bored with the lack of activities in Georgetown, Kentucky. So I head to Lexington to see some old friends.
I meet up with my buddy Gornto and we go vinyl shopping. I shouldn’t be vinyl shopping as I have packed all of my outdoor hunting gear in my carry on and have no room left to travel back. Regardless, I buy a vinyl chronologizing the blues sounds of Cincinnati in the 1920’s(I ended up leaving this at my mom’s house. Pretty upset about not having it now). Afterwards we head to the local non starbucks coffee place in Lexington and catchup on life. Good times. I head home and crash early again as all of the traveling is starting to catch up with me.
Wednesday a snow storm hits, of course, haven’t seen snow in two years and we are going to get it one of the nine days I’m in Kentucky. It’s actually quite beautiful and doesn’t get to cold or turn to ice like it normally does so I don’t mind.
So now it’s time to go to Indiana to see my dad. First time seeing him since April 2012. I haven’t been to his house in even longer than that. But he promised me that if we went out on Thanksgiving that I would see a deer. The photo above is his statement to prove this.
Typical Indiana
I am not sure how Indiana doesn’t suffer that grey sky syndrome that Kentucky suffers but I promise you that once you cross that Mason Dixon line the skies instantly become blue. It is a phenomenon I don’t understand.
So I go out for several hours on Thanksgiving day and don’t even see a damn squirrel. Not only that, but its fucking 14 degrees with a windchill of 8. Yeah. Florida boy don’t like that. And to suffer through it and not see a damn thing. It was very disappointing. Disappointing to the fact that only a 1.75 of turkey could only take care of it.
So we go home and have ham instead of deer. I show my dad new technologies like Spotify and pass out. Then it’s Friday. Time to sleep in a little and then drive back to Kentucky for my final day of vaca. When I get back I meet up with my former roommate, get some dinner and then meet up with several old friends at some of the local watering holes.
Before too long its time to head to the Houndmouth homecoming show at Headliners. Fortunately, I am good friends with the band and the manager so I was able to get into the sold out show. It was amazing to say the least.
Afterwards, we head to a local bar that is a private party for the band only and things got wild. My last day in Kentucky was a day to remember and it makes me homesick to think of all of those good times. But fuck that 14 degree weather.
Kentucky Fried Bucket List 