Category Archives: Florida Finger-Licking Fun

I had heard about this place. Read about this place. Even had memories of a fort that I visited in my younger years that I was hoping this place might be. So when my roommate’s family visited us for Christmas and asked me what we could do for fun, Fort De Soto Park was my solution.

Simple, it was a park, it has beach and it has historical information. Better yet, it is in Pinellas County, so it would be a quick commute.

I was really confident this place was the fort that I had visited as a child, but I was wrong. This ended up being a new experience for me. Somewhat lackluster to be honest. There’s not much to this place. Not to be a naysayer, but you can see everything there is to see in less than 15 minutes.

I think my roommate was getting bored as he started to break simple courtesy rules. Maybe that, or maybe he’s just an all around bad-ass. More likely the former.

It could also be that we chose of of the coldest days of the year to check out this park. Whatever the case, I don’t want to write the place off. Just don’t expect to do a whole-helluva-lot when you visit. It was fun nonetheless and I am glad that I got to spend time with my roommate’s family.

Next to the building I work in is a minor league soccer stadium. The stadium belongs to the Tampa Bay Rowdies. Since learning this it has been a goal of mine to make it to a home game at this stadium. Then I learned the devastating news that the last home game of the season was the Saturday after I set out on my elk hunting trip in Colorado. Sigh.

When I returned I learned the news that the Rowdies had made the playoffs and the final four game would be hosted at the field. The news made shot a load of serotonin through my body like that of a jovial baby. So on Saturday my roommate Shad and I knew what our plans were.

We were shocked when we got to the stadium early to buy tickets the level of support that was tailgating in the parking lot. It was nice to see row after row of fans from Saint Petersburg getting behind something together. We knew it was going to be a great night.

The stadium is downtown and since downtown is full of nothing but pubs and bars, they were all packed with rowdy soccer fans(no pun intended). This was great since I was meeting a group of fellow coworkers for some outside work related activities. It allowed us to get some dinner and socialize about something besides work for once.

Since the NASL is built on an aggregate tournament style of play, it was only necessary for the Rowdies to get a tie to advance to finals. Unfortunately, the Rowdies fell to an early 0-2 score but that would not hold them back. After a few well set plays and a PK, the Rowdies were back in the game and the stadium of 7000 erupted!

The Rowdies finished the game with a strong fought 3-3 tie and made it to the finals. The championship crowning game will be held at the same stadium in two weeks and I am ready to support my Tampa Bay Rowdies to their first NASL championship.

All this time that I’ve lived in Florida and yet somehow I’ve managed to never go saltwater fishing. I had a friend from Kentucky coming to visit for the weekend and he suggested spending Saturday afternoon at sea. I reserved a spot on a large charter for the group to depart at 8 AM. This proved to be a mistake as four alarms failed to awaken us.

Fortunately the aftermath of a late Friday was able to be shaken by 7:39AM and thus provided barely enough time for me to call and cancel the reservations for a refund. The charter had no other availability for the day so we browsed the internet and eventually found another charter in Clearwater that was departing at 1 PM. This allowed the group some time for breakfast and a little flea marketing before setting sail.

When we arrived the first thing we noticed was that our fishing boat was docked just a few spots down from the boat we had originally planned on using. After looking it over it was clear that the new boat was more suitable for the day ahead of us so we were happy with our error.

We arrived early enough to explore the boat and mess around before hitting the high waters and Heather decided she was hungry enough to try a little bait. Not really, but I’m quite sure she disgusted the bait boy. Which by the way, being a crew member on one of these fishing charter boats is probably the closest thing one can achieve to living the dream.

Should we happen to forget we are in one of the most touristy towns of Florida there were constant reminders of gimmicky boats trying to capitalize on our money. Such as this Jaws like cruise liner:

I was afraid that the day was going to get rained out as I had constantly checked the weather all week long. The weather indicated storms during the day in Clearwater but due to the messed up weather patterns of the Tampa Bay area you never know what is going to happen and somehow we managed to leave the storm ashore.

When we finally got to the captain’s honeycomb and were allowed to drop our lines in, the weeks anxiety finally came to an all time high. Before I could even drop my line in the water someone had already caught something. Maybe this was going to be a great day after all!

So I dropped my line in and I sat there. And I sat there. And I sat there. All passengers except Heather and I seemed to be bagging nemmatoad after nemmatoad. My friend Brian caught 5 or 6 fish, I lost count, he even caught a shark. So I decided to post this picture of his smallest catch of the day:

We had the great luxury of sharing our boat ride with some of the most fratastic brooks brother wearing wonderboys of all time on this particular Saturday. One of which even tried to steal my pole until I sat him straight. Anyways, after there shenanigans and beer shotgunning they of course were the ones to catch the days biggest fish. I believe it ended up being a 45 lb Cobia.

The captain came over the loud speaker to let us know we only had about 5 minutes of fishing left so I let the line loose and drag for half the reel. This proved to be the successful strategy because 20 seconds later I had my days first catch.

I threw him into the fish holocaust ice box and we headed back to land. The charter will clean the fish and put it in a bag for you which is nice. Especially since I don’t even have the utensils to do such a thing down here.

As we stood waiting for our fish to get butchered up, some random stranger (definitely from New Jersey) came up to me and offered me his stringer of fish. With the combined stringers of fish we were looking at some good eatings for dinner.

The bait boy was cleaning the fish for us and throwing the scraps to the little intelligent creature posted up in the marina waiting himself for some good eatings.

The captain let us know if we took our fish down to the restaurant on the end of the marina they would fry it up for us and put it with some sides for $8 bucks a plate. Nice! We didn’t even have to wait on the drive home to eat our days catch plus we wouldn’t have to stink up the apartment.

Cigar City. Tampa Bay. That’s what they call the Tampa Bay area. But the cigar industry flourished from the area that has grown to become known as Ybor City. It has heavy influence from Spanish, Cuba, and Italian heritage. This is very apparent if you spend more than 15 minutes in the district.

Most of the restaurants in the district are either Cuban or Italian which is fine by me. But this story really begins with the trip to Ybor City.

I was always warned from everyone that I know familiar with the area that you should only visit Ybor city during the day time. The drive from St. Pete is a conniving little trek I say so myself. What happens is you get in an expressway that says its a toll way. And I’m more than willing to pay a toll to get to Ybor City, because its that damn cool. But the further I drive down this toll way, I begin to realize that this is no ordinary toll way. When I pull of the toll way, I immediately come to the realization that there are no toll booths and no way for me to pay the toll. You know what the ******** of the state of Florida do? They take a picture of your license plate and mail you bill. That’s horse****. Anyways, when we pulled off, we saw a dead copse in the back of a pickup truck. This is the best picture I could get. So when this ends up some case on CourtTV 3 years from now, feel free to use this picture.

After we finally found a parking spot in Ybor City the first thing to notice is the Church of Scientology. It LITERALLY takes up an entire city block. No joke. I’m surprised myself. How could a religion afford such a great real estate lot? Good for them!

I love the brick streets in all these old cities in Florida. It really does it for me. That is all.

So this isn’t the first time I’ve been to Ybor City. I knew they had gay clubs and that’s fine and dandy. No judging. But I’ve never visited Ybor during the daytime. I had no idea that they had something they considered the ‘Gay District’. Good for them!

There’s supposedly some great drag shows. Maybe one day someone will drag me to one, but today’s not the day. So instead, I’ll just get some great photo ops!

As we were taking these great photo ops, I heard a horn ringing in my ear. I looked back and with enough time I was able to capture the picture of this city rail. I had no idea such a thing still existed in cities outside of San Francisco but whatev.

Anyways, there are plenty of statues in the city for good pics and plenty of great Cuban restaurants if you enjoy a pressed steak. Even the famous Columbia’s restaurant. There’s something about the atmosphere in this town that gives you a relaxed Sunday vibe that everyone should encounter at least once.

Ever since I’ve moved to Florida people keep yammering to me about how I should go check out the sponge docks in Tarpon Springs. I’ve kinda just put it off because Tarpon Springs was only 30 minutes away and it didn’t seem too enticing. But as a Saturday approached and no ideas for a spontaneous adventure rattled in my noggin, I resorted to my book of suggestions of adventures in Florida and it recommended Tarpon Springs.

Apparently, Tarpon Springs is where all the sponges are caught in the world or some shit like that. So I guess I’d give a chance. The town was full of docked boats with every inch of capacity occupied by sponges and stores that sold sponges. Sponges were selling for 50 dollars a pop. What kind of mindless drone has money to spend on a $50 dollar sponge? I’m still in confusion. It honestly felt like a tourist trap. I felt like I was in a crappy movie from the late 80’s/early 90’s about family vacations.

Shake, Rattle and Roll

Nonetheless, I like making the best of bad situation and coincidentally enough for us, this particular Saturday happened to be some random occurrence where they were celebrating Christmas in July. Some Mrs. Clause was singing “Shake, Rattle and Roll” so I couldn’t help myself from dancing in the pictures.

As we continued to stroll among the 100’s of Santa’s roaming the streets we eventually found Santa’s sleigh. Now I guess I never got the memo, but apparently the ‘Traveling Santa’ industry is a lucrative business.  My mind still cannot comprehend how so many Santa’s can gather in one place and make money on a Saturday worthy of sleeping in on. But whatever.

I knew before I left I must obtain a picture with a Santa. So when two Santa’s sitting on a bench presented themselves, a perfect picture opportunity was to be capitalized on. Unfortunately for me, of the hundreds of Santas present on this sunny Saturday, I chose the one gay one. And as I tried to get my photo op, I can only imagine what he was thinking of me…

Uncomfortable Laughter

The book of suggestions that guided me to the booming metropolis of Tarpon Springs also suggested that we try the Greek Food of Hellas Restaurant.

The food was actually quite pleasant. And something about the restaurant’s lighting wouldn’t let me forget that I was eating Greek food in a coastal town in the state of Florida. I’m still not quite sure what it is though. Regardless, the food was great and the whole city seemed to be occupied by Greek Restaurants. I don’t care to do my research on why this is, I just assume the word Tarpon has something to do with the Greek God of sponges.

For some reason this pic reminds me of HST

The rest of the city has tourist things like shops full of sponges and other souveniry items like soap and sponge fused together. But I wasn’t sold on spending money i didn’t have to. The barbaric people that spend money in this city must have too much money to spend and no soul.

While the soap fused with sponge was cool, I wasn’t sold on spending money I didn’t need to spend. So I snapped a few more photo ops and took my sunburn home with me.

For this adventure I stepped out of my comfort zone. You see normally, I would pick my own thing and just go do it or convince a friend of mine that it will be the most awesome thing of all time and then go. Normally this person wouldn’t find the joy of the simple things in life. This person also probably wouldn’t ever join me on an adventure again. Fortunately for me this time, I had a companion that even suggested a place to go.
So off we embarked…
We paid the two dollars, followed a couple of signs and ended up at a parking spot in front of a children playing on a swing sets and such. Ahead, I could see a bulletin board that immediately gathered my attention.

I was instantly reminded that I was in the great state of Florida. The place laws are made for. I looked over my shoulder instinctively and tried to remain calm. Where had my compadre brought me?

“There’s a great path ahead,” she suggested obviously being familiar with the park. As we approached her golden path we were confronted with a flooded trail of Florida swamp. Signs all around us suggested that we didn’t proceed any further. Disappointed she persevered in the idea of greatness being only just ahead. We blazed our on path as far as we could through Florida wooded terrain until inevitable defeat. But I was able to capture a great photo!

We decided to make the best of what we had since we had made the long trek down Dale Mabry. For those of you unfamiliar with Tampa, Dale Mabry is essentially hell. If you can avoid it, do.

There wasn’t much to see in the part of the park that was accessible so we were quite disappointed. We headed back to the jeep and decided to go off and find whatever other adventure our Saturday might have in store for us.

When up ahead I saw a sign in the park that said ‘Archery Range >>>’. “Well **** me! Lets check that out!” I haven’t found a good spot to practice my bow shot since I’ve been down in Florida. I’ve also got an Elk hunting trip in Colorado planned for September, so I need to get my shot on.

The archery range was everything I expected an archery range in the state of Florida to be. It’s no Cherokee park archery range. Rules were posted every where. People overcrowded it. When I shoot my bow I want to be alone. Even one onlooker would grind my gears and deter from my shot. I saw three.

Further down the path we found the part of the park that my partner in crime had been raving about. There was indeed a second route to her promise land. Some family was having some birthday cook out ahead of where we parked. There was also a sweet ass looking dirt bike path in front of us. But Heather suggested we walked the trails she was accustomed to.

So off we set. And some friendly passersby we encountered. Some were even on horse. This is when the day finally started to feel complete.

After suffering the exhaustive heat of July in Florida, we decided it was time we went and got some lunch. But as we exited we saw a huge turtle crossing the road.

And when we got back on Dale Mabry and headed North Bound I was captivated by the sign on the side of the road that reminded me I was leaving the Yankee part of Florida and entering the South…

I’ve been meaning to find the motivation to hit up a Rays game for quite some time. I finally found it and it wasn’t a disappointment.

To get the true Tropicana enjoyable experience, one must first partake in the pregame festivities at the local adjacent watering hole known as Ferg’s. This place gets off the chains before a home game. It’s amazing to watch the great migration that happens around 6:45 to the field.

After following the mindless crowd like a drone into the stadium on a hot summer day you find yourself instantly cooled by the 72 degrees controlled climate. The architecture of the dome is fascinating to look at and ponder upon yet many MLB fans seem to hate this ballpark. Oh well, it gives me my kicks.

I’m not sure where our seats actually were, but the piss poor geographical location of the Trop grants the ability of leisurely picking where you want to sit. We choose down by the bull pen.

After the game, all I wanted to do was go touch a ray in the petting tank. Unbeknownst to me, the petting tank closes in the 7th inning and I was not granted my wish for the night. This only led me to the conclusion that I would come back soon.

UPDATE (6-30-2012):

My boy Rich and I decided to hit up the Rays game on Saturday and check out “Throwback Night”. Now the Rays weren’t around until the late 90’s so I guess some marketing manager decided to make up some retro designs and cash in a little profit from fans. (They sold me on it). I just wish they woulda went with Devil Ray colors instead but apparently the owners are not fans of that point in team history.

Again, we partook in the pregame festivities at Ferg’s. I even capitalized on a combo coupon that included parking and a meal. Then we made the great migration.

This time I would not miss my opportunity to check out the petting tank. The rays were lively and playful as ever. I honestly think they are attention whores. But who wouldn’t be given the opportunity?

Once I got my photo opp and a few quick snaps of the rays themselves, it was time to HST the night and see where it took me.

We went and found some seats and I tried my best to capture a good photo of the throwback outfits.

Earlier in the evening we met some friends at Ferg’s who said they were heading to the Captain Morgan’s deck…There’s a Captain Morgan’s deck, ride on! So we headed up there and checked out the awesome outfield view. I was in for a treat on this particular night. As we were standing on the deck a patron decided he had had enough alcohol and that it was a good idea to hop the fence by first base and run across the outfield. It was incredible to hear the sounds of the crowd rooting him on as he tried to escape the clutches of officials chasing him down.

We decided to go catch the end of the game from any open seats we could find behind home plate. This turned out to be a terrific idea because as we sat down the elderly lady next to us offered us her wristbands. Wristbands, for what? Oh yeah, its throwback night, there is an Earth Wind and Fire concert on the field after the game. Score.

And boy do they still got it! What a perfect concert to end the evening.

When I was moving down to St. Petersburg I needed an apartment and I needed it quick. The place I was banking on fell through and I only had a day to find a place. So on that fateful Friday afternoon I take off driving towards an apartment complex that was recommended to me. Unfortunately the complex had no vacancy. Luckily, the receptionist pointed me in the direction of a few more apartment complexes off of Gandy Blvd. The apartments were nice and eventually became what I called home.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, Gandy Blvd. was the road that led to the Gandy Bridge. The Gandy Bridge, at one point in time, was the world’s longest bridge connecting Tampa and St. Petersburg. St. Petersburg was a city built on tourism in the early 1900’s. One item of tourism that early St. Pete offered was the Derby Lane Greyhound Track. This dog track is the country’s oldest dog track.

I assume this place was off the chains in the 20’s and 30’s because it still has that vintage feel. They even play some cheesy American tune before every race that for a split second makes you feel you aren’t living in the times that you actually are.

On this visit to the track, I had the luxury of being accompanied by one of my good friends from the Bluegrass. This man is a hybrid of Bukowski, H.S.Thompson, and the Big Lebowski, so the experience felt all the much better. I didn’t understand his rhyme or reasoning for gambling but my strategy was to bet on the greyhound that took the pre-race poop. My friend left in the black, I left in the hole.

Don’t expect to see high class crowds from the 20’s at this place though. Most of the seats are unoccupied but for the few visitors this place attracts, they make a Kid Rock concert in the middle of a Nascar race feel more like your kind of people. Tactlessly, my camera battery was uncharged and I was unable to capture a photo of this rare breed of human. I only hope that you can experience this social setting at some point in your life.

I hypothesize that back in the day, Pinellas County laws were much more relaxed than that of neighboring Hillsborough County. This probably led to the construction of Derby Lanes. Furthermore, I believe the sole bridge leading into Pinellas County in addition to the dog track led to the cancer of businesses that have spread on Gandy Blvd.

Don’t for a second think that you night is complete after leaving the race track. Gandy Blvd. has one of the finest liquor stores just 50 yards from the parking lot of the track. Gandy also has a high abundance of strip clubs and bikini bars. If only I had opened my eyes a little more before choosing my apartment, I might have been more prepared for what I was in store for.

I thought about how to write this entry for a while (whether I should break it up by individual sites or not) but after revisiting Key West for the fourth time in my life I realized that Key West trips should be considered one experience. Laying just 90 miles north of Cuba, you will find one of the most radical places in America. After all, the city did secede from the United States and had one of the first openly gay mayors.

One of the most important assets of a Key West adventure is getting there. In my previous visits, I have always driven via US 1. The drive is one of the most scenic drives you could possibly imagine. But this I took the Key West Express. The Key West Express is a cruise line that departs from either Ft. Myers or Marco Island. There is a docked Key West Express ship in Tampa but unfortunately there is no service from Tampa. It really is a shame because I would probably visit more frequently if it did.

Saturday morning we woke up at 4AM and headed south to Ft. Myers Beach. It is imperative that all you GPS users out there note that the Key West Express launches from the city of Ft. Myers Beach, not Ft. Myers. If you make this mistake you might find yourself wondering where in the hell all of the boats are.

When we arrived at the dock, I skipped on the Dramamine. Part of me was hoping for some sea sickness adventure but the Key West Express is such a huge ship it wasn’t necessary anyways. When we got out of the car and headed towards the boat it struck me as really strange at how many employees this cruise line had. Business must be booming in these tough times if the parking lot needed 10 crew members. Then we went to pick up the tickets and found out we had to pay $16 for parking and it slowly started to make sense.

We got on aboard and realized how nice this cruise line really was. Seating and tables everywhere, multiple TV’s broadcasting the news and movies, and even a few bars. People weren’t hesitating to buy drinks at 9 AM either. The boat ride quickly became a pre-noon drinking binge party for most passengers. When we launched out captain came on the speaker to welcome us and his New York Italian accent was overbearing and almost made me question his ability to captain such a big ship. To overcome this doubt I decided I needed a mimosa and some fresh air. So I hit up the back deck and watched the coastline for a while. The silhouettes of the hotels on the coast were amazing to watch. They remind you of all the tourism and destruction humans have done to the Florida coastline.

I looked at the clock and it was only 9:30 so I decided to take a nap. I awoke as my phone started vibrating with several emails and text messages as I found myself in a pool of Florida stickiness. I must of have fallen asleep in the worst place because the upper deck laid in the perfect position between me and the sun. I woke up with a tan line split right down my face like I was straight out of a Batman comic book.

The islands of mangroves started to appear and I knew we were close. The people clustered to the door as the shipmates started hooking the boat to dock and the excitement in the air could be felt. The cruise line offered a guided trolley tour around Key West (something I have never done) so we thought it would be a good idea to check it out. When we got off the boat we waited for the rest of the ship to clear and gather for the tour and we got in the back seat of a trolly.

Flagler Museum

I tried to snag a few photos of some unique sites while riding but I found it quite difficult since out seats were facing outward from the rear of the train.

As we were riding in the back of the train, one of the local “Conchs” skateboarded up to us and grabbed on. It was entertaining to watch and great to feel the free spirited atmosphere of Key West.

And of course, after the guided tour, we did what all Key West tourists do. We headed to Duval Street. If you’ve never been to Duval Street prepare yourself for an all day everyday party. Actually, you can’t do that. There is no preparation for the things you will encounter on Duval Street. It just exists.

All of the bars are outdoors since the climate is perfect year round and you can just bar hop all day. Rum Runners are probably the most easily obtainable drink on the island and are the perfect drink to keep your body cool through the warm weather.

Sitting there, enjoying myself, I looked up and saw a bucket with an Ear-X-Tacy sticker. It was nice to know that Kentucky had made its presence known so far away from home. And then I remembered… It was Kentucky Derby Day. There is only one place on earth I would ever consider being besides Louisville on Kentucky Derby Day and that’s Key West… but if I had one wish in life, I’d wish that I could be in Louisville on every Kentucky Derby Day. So I made due.

At this precise moment, believe it or not, the trumpet was playing and the horses were lined up in the gate on the TV in front of me. Some guys beside me had a Derby Day styled hat on and a Churchill in their mouths. It was comforting to know the Derby was watched everywhere. Key West loved the idea that name of the horse that won the Kentucky Derby was named “I’ll Have Another.” Partying ensued.

We left the bar and walked out into the gathering of people in the street. Did I mention that it just happened the weekend we decided to visit Key West was also the Singer Songwriter’s Festival. There was a stage set up with performances going on all day. There was this straight western film styled Mexican music band playing when we approached. I swear I thought Clint Eastwood was going to appear from a cloud of smoke at any given moment.

Key West goes bananas at night. You will eventually find yourself in a crowded sea of people being swept from one bar to the next. That is, until you eventually make it all the way to the end of the island. At this point, you realize your not in your type of bars any more. But, when in Key West, do as the Conchs do and snag a great photo opportunity…

There’s no reason to feel concerned on Duval Street late at night because everyone there is just trying to have a good time and you will eventually find a cab ride back to your hotel on the other side of the island. You might even be so lucky as to acquire another passenger on the way and split the fare like I was. Then you crash for a few hours, re-energize and do it all again the next day!

We headed back to Duval Street to see the sights that we missed on our first day of adventure. We knew the Hemingway house was a must, maybe even check out the light house. I led the way towards the Hemingway house and I just happened to stumble upon a sight I hadn’t been to before. Mile marker 0. We had passed it on the trolley but I couldnt snag a good shot. So I was glad to be back. The tour guide let us know that this sign is frequently stolen. I could see that as it was quadruple bolted to the pole.

Eventually, we made it to the Hemingway house(a sight I had been to before, but wanted to make sure my roommate had the opportunity to visit). It is one of the most amazing properties in America and man I wish I owned it. I can only imagine how great it would feel to wake up with surrounding sunlight beaming into my bedroom, walk out onto a 2nd-story wraparound porch, and then head to my pool house to tacking my writing excursions for the day.

Viewing the KW Lighthouse from the Hemingway porch

Where the magic happened

My roommate and I roamed the grounds of the Hemingway property and found some benches great for thinking. You just feel like you want to be the next Great American Author when your here. It seems like the setting would be perfect for it.

We headed out and started our way back towards the boat to take us home. But before we did I stumbled into the Key West Key Lime Pie Company where I picked up a few items. A key lime slushie, a jar of key lime jelly and a key lime cook book. A must visit store if I must say so.

Humbly sitting on US 92 lies a botanical garden. I wondered to myself how could there be a garden worthwhile of my time anywhere in Pinellas county. So I sat out early Saturday morning to find out.

Thankfully this gigantic sign on the side of the road helped me find my destination. The garden opened at 10AM and I was early. So I drove around the surrounding neighborhood looking at houses. When I returned the morning rush of people had already purchased their tickets and entered.

At the admission counter I was third in line. Standing there I couldn’t help but to notice the shirt one of the girls at the counter was wearing. It looked like the Red Hot Chili Peppers symbol but it said something random around the outside that I couldn’t make out. When it was finally my turn in line, I noticed that the shirt said “I’m With You” which is the name of the latest album they released. That shirt’s awesome I say. Somehow I find myself in a conversation with this chick and she offers me a discounted admission and a free bag of fish food. Now I’m no gambling man but I would say the bag of dried up pellets was her way of saying she wanted me.

The garden was much larger in size than I had expected. It also had several paths to take and thankfully they give you a map. I elected to take the main outlined path and set out. As I took several steps forward I started to wonder when I was going to see the good stuff. And that’s when it dawned on me. I was seeing the good stuff. It was all around me.

To my right something moving caught my attention. It was a black lizard. Picture worthy for my blog. I reach into my pocket and grab the camera. It was gone. There will probably be more ahead, after all it is Florida. I let it go and continue on.

I could hear birds harmonizing all around me reminding me of the peaceful atmosphere this place provides. I kept walking until I discovered a set of beautiful parrots. There was a sign that said this parrot loves to talk but usually only talks to females. Coming from a household full of birds I knew I would get this feathered creature to talk to me. There was a list of his favorite phrases on another sign. I tried them all. The damned parrot is a sexist bastard. He wouldn’t say a word to me. Defeated I decided to move on.

Lizards were starting to appear and disappear more frequently around me. This is a lizard’s paradise. So much nature all around. I found a bench and sat on it for a moment. Not only could it serve as a lizard’s paradise but a writer could potentially find nirvana here.

I eventually stumbled upon an amphitheater. I’m not sure what goes on here but when I passed by there was a yoga class going on. I looked like a creeper trying to snag a photo of it but whatever.

I found a couple of koi fish ponds but the damned fish wouldn’t eat the damned pellets. Great! Now I have a bag of fish pellets I can’t even get rid of. FML.

Fish refusing to eat my pellets

I few more windy paths and I come upon a rock bench. Nothing fancy in my opinion really. I had several of these in my yard growing up. But what set this one apart from the ones in my backyard is that this one had a sign. Yes. A sign that promised me tranquility if I sat upon it. So I did.

And I sat there for a while. Sitting alone in a palm tree garden for a moment I thought about what would make me tranquil. Nothing came to mind. But as i was sitting on the limestone, listening to the waterfall, birds singing, surrounded by plants, watching lizards I started to notice that all felt right in the universe. I decided at that moment I needed a picture on the rock. So I sat there longer and waited for someone to show up and take a picture for me. And I sat. And I waited. And I thought some more.

Finally, 15 minutes later, a guest approached and I was able to capture an awesome picture.

Then I found a little wooden bridge. Another opportunity to feed some koi presented itself. I dropped a few pellets in. These fish were hungry. Started fighting for the pellets. I realized I hadn’t dropped enough in. I offer some more. Even more fish appeared. Again not enough. My favorite sunglasses started to come off my ears a little bit so my fear of losing my favorite piece of attire persuaded me to dump the whole bag in. The fish feasted.

I roamed around some more and found a wedding reception area, a zen garden, more benches for sitting and thinking and even a cacti garden. sitting on some of the benches I people watched when I could. All of the men there looked so unhappy. How could they be so unpleasant in such a great place? They were definitely not comfortable in their own skin. If your not comfortable in your own skin, you wont enjoy this place.

I realized I was near the end and I began to get a little sad. I had to enjoy the last bit of a the Sunken Gardens while I still could. So I sat and watched a huge turtle for like 10 minutes before I decided my adventure for the day was over.